WARNING: this post is really quite absurd. Perhaps have a few drinks prior ro reading to dull the inevitable pain....
I sit on my recliner
And attempt to find
The right meter and rhythm
My own challange a bind.
So I will tell you a story
With verisimilitde
And certainly hope
I never am rude.
My titian hair tousled
My brainwaves in peril
I dwell and I dither
My words come out sterile.
But I tell myself "Stephanie,
You must have more pluck.
SO get out of this dwaal
Lest this poem be all muck."
So I will attempt to vivisect
A day common to me
With conundrums aplenty
And much puckery.
The kittens shenanigans
(you see we have four)
Have made a kaleidescope
Of my living room floor.
These scurrilous felines
Begin every day
With Snagglepuss tactics
They just won't obey.
Then after a coffee
For caffeine is a must
I make my way to the barn
Feeling oh so robust.
I don my galoshes
After snarffing a bagal
My nifty jeans all tucked in
To avoid the yard's muddy peril.
"Oglalla!" I shout
Pretending that it's someone's name
And not a species from Voyager
See Star Trek's the game!
The evenstar hangs
In the dark morning air
Giving an eerie bouffant
To my touque covered hair.
The alpaca pellets
A first morning treat
Are greeted with wahoos
And ogles repleat.
Rex is sanguine
Then suddenly lugubrious
He realizes I am walking
Not driving the gator... so curious.
You see Rex is a Gator Dog
It is his job to navigate
So when driving said ranch wheels
I do not discomobulate.
But this morning I walk rounds
In peripatetic fashion
Pouring sesamoid offerings
Into troughs is my passion.
I would play them a tune
If I just had a zither
Instead of singing off key
And sending cria a-dither.
Perhaps filled with aldrenadon
Or suffering hallucinogenation
I pitchfork the hay
For the critters' better selection.
A few cria bottle fed
A bunch of shots given
Is the only way I can think of
To include antidisestablishmentariansim.
My uvula quivers
My tummy is queasy
Do I really dare post
This literary travesty?!
"BAH!" says I, with a right hook to good taste
"I will post it and laugh right in my own face!"
So with that fellow bloggers, yes you, all my friends
I will bring my gaggle-less efforts, now closed, to their end.
(this is just soooooooo awful... lol!)
5 comments:
au contraire mon ami. C'est magnificant.
You are a wordsmith of a worthy sort!
Aw thanks Lesley! And I wanted to say, in reference to Dale's last post, that had I faced the sort of health crisis you had last year, I would certainly be thinking differently about the H1N1 shot. It is not the vaccine I am opposed to so much as the mass hysteria the media and health canada (heck, the WHO for that matter) has created with it. Like I said in my post, it is a choice we all have to make for ourselves, and each case will be different.
Here is to a year free of illness for you! And perhaps a trip one day to Edmonton to stay at the ranch?.... :)
I almost expected:
Now Dasher
Now Dancer
Now Prancer
and Vixen
On Comet
On Cupid
On Donner
and Blitzen...
Very good, but oh so bad at the same time - I still love it!
You must have had so much fun doing it!
Wellies vs the Gator...
But I beg to differ on Oglalla
- the closest I can come to is a city in Nebraska - Ogalalla
- or a band of Souix - the Oglala
But who's being specific? lol
xx
I am impressed that you managed to get them all in! I fear such a feat would be beyond me.
Brilliant Stevie. I don't know how you managed it but you've even made sense of the nonsense...fantastic!!
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