Scott and Amanda
Well, let’s face it. This day came as no great surprise to
any of us, but just like Christmas, that does not make it any less happy an
event.
The two of you have just always fit. When you were little
kids, when you were friends as teens… and when romance blossomed in high
school, well, it just seemed to be a natural fit to all of us.
In this day and age of statistics and dire warnings about
marriage, looking at you two makes me realize that true, life-long love really
is possible. And this pleases me greatly.
Scott, you were such a chubby, happy baby, a truly sweet and
adorable boy, and now you have grown into a handsome, wonderful man, though it
seems like it happened all too quickly.
You have always been caring and loving to everyone and
everything around you. The pride I feel for you and your brother Justin and
sister Hayley is too big for words, too immense for me to even express.
You have also always been adventurous, which explains a few
of the scars you will sport for life, and I cannot count the times you have put
other people before yourself.
Just please remember to keep your head up and watch for
obstacles instead of watching the speedometer on your bike to see how fast you
are going. J
Amanda, you were such a shy sweet child, the quiet playmate
of Scott and Hayley, (and what a whirlwind those two could be!) but always
happy (except when they would scare you by arguing whether they saw a spider or
not), part of the family long before you technically became part of the family.
And you have survived me! Well done Manda, well done!
I look at you now, and instead of that sweet, quiet little
girl, there is this sweet, beautiful, loving woman who is sitting beside my
son, his counterpoint, his harmony... his wife.
I promise to always remember that being there for you does
not mean being in your face.
Scott, you are my son, and I would defend you to the ends of
the earth, but remember, every now and then we women have to stick together.
And since, of course, you two are going to get all sorts of
advice from everyone about how to remain happy in your marriage, I will add my
voice to the choir.
Remember than no one is perfect. No one. And it is easy to focus on the things that drive you crazy,
but it is a lot less stressful and much more rewarding to focus on the things
you love about each other.
Compromise. It will never be all about either one of you.
Play on each other’s strengths, and be patient with the weaknesses, because we
all have them.
You are a couple, a lifelong team, and while remaining a
team is vital, remember that you are also still individuals, and give each
other (and yourselves) the gift of space from time to time, and the gift to be
who you are as individuals.
Argue each other’s point of view. When you really look at
how the other person is feeling or reacting, when you truly try to see their
side of things, it helps you find a common ground. Sometimes you win a fight,
sometimes you lose one, and sometimes, no one wins, and that’s ok, because some
fights no one needs to win. Let those ones go.
And since you are also going to be parents soon, I have two
pieces of advice for that new adventure.
First and foremost, ever underestimate the value of asking
for help on those days when you really need a break, or the dishes done, or a
nap, or a shower, or to brush your teeth, or to actually finish a meal before
it is cold.
And second, no matter what anyone tells you, no matter what
“been there done that” advice you get, no matter what you read, the wee Niblet
never read any of the books or heard any of the advice, so just smile and nod,
and do what works best for the three of you.
So here is to you both, my son and my new daughter… may
every day have laughter, may every day have joy, and may any days that seem
hard just make the other ones that much sweeter.
I love you.
Mom
