For all you goddesses in my life...

I hate it.
I really do.
I hate the pigeon holing, the narrow little alley we, as a society, force our women into. We do it to men as well, but to a lesser extent.
I am, of course, talking about beauty.
You have to be thin-thin-thin, you have to have perfect teeth, you have to have perfect hair, you have to have designer clothes, you have to have mounds of make-up on at all hours of the day and God help you if you don’t have all these things down pat.
Well to hell with that, says me.
I am a firm believer that if you live a healthy lifestyle, and by that I mean eat food that is good for your body, get a little daily exercise (walk the dog, take the stairs, hell go to the gym or do a workout tape if that’s your fancy, just get like even just half an hour each day) and limit the really wonderful but really bad for you treats you eat, that your body will settle at the weight it is meant to be at, be that a size 6 or a size 16.
We see it, are force-fed “desirable body type,” in nearly every aspect of our society. Fashion magazines, television shoes, we glorify the likes of Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie (don’t get me wrong I like both those actors… or at least Angelina), the clothing stores all use, what, like size two mannequins, there are commercials in televised and print media that insist we need Relacor be beat belly fat, Slim Fast to drop weight quickly, and there are copious other lose weight pills and powders that we know just don’t work. Some of the best selling books these days are all hawking the best type of diet to achieve you desired body weight, but when you add them all together, you are still getting the same message: you, my dear, are not good enough.
It is in the shop at home catalogues like Victoria’s secret and even good old Sears.
And the really ironic thing is, we see what we are told is the perfect body and yet every other aspect of our lives is being directed towards sedentary lifestyles via computers and other electronic stimuli. AND ALL COMES FROM ESSENTIALLY THE SAME SOURCE!
We live in a society where we spend less and less time doing anything active in our daily routines, computers gobble up huge amounts of our time, we have put the nutritionally deficient bleached out food products on the shelves easiest to reach and afford, and yes, fast food is taking its toll.
Kids go to play at one another’s house, but instead of tearing around outside, they are more often than not inside playing video games. You know it is true… and while it is not true of every kid or even every kid all of the time, it is a sign of the times.
We are not going to be able to beat the age of laptops, X-Box 360 and PSPs, but we can try and find some way to balance it out.
Can you see the irony here? Our girls, and our boys, see what the societal version of perfection is and want desperately to have it, but at the same time, are spending more time on things like MSN messenger and Nexopia and MySpace, getting little or no exercise, and where were are they getting the messages about so called physical perfection? MSN, Nexopia, Messenger, yadda yadda yadda.
And we allow it. Have we given up?
I hope not. And while I am saying all of this I know there are some families out there who have not been sucked into the pit of unhealthy despair, so keep your pouty tut-tutting at bay for the moment.
The top and bottom of it is, we really need, as a society, to tell the small, and small minded, group of whoever the hell they, that we are no longer going to be sucked into their putrefac and harmful realm. And we need to tell our women and men that beauty is not in the lowest number on the scale or size tag, it is not in the perfect teeth (can you say laminates boys and girls?) or the perfect hair (please, as if it looks like that all the time) the buff bodies (it’s called having a private chef and a personal trainer, and that is in addition to the tummy tucks, breast implants and liposuction) and it is not found in a magazines or on television.
It is not in flawless, smooth, wrinkleless skin, it is not in your clothes or hair colour or style.
If you are a fitness buff, I applaud your self-discipline and drive, as long as you do it to be healthy and not to fit into a stereotype. And frankly, if you really feel a desire to go further and alter your body surgically, again, that is your choice and I will not hold it against you. Heck, there are times I wish that little fold of skin left over from my cesarean section would just disappear. It is a personal choice.
But we really need to ask ourselves, do we want to make drastic changes to our bodies for ourselves, or for others? Exercise to be healthy, and sure, sometimes being healthy really does include losing a few pounds, but lose the pounds YOUR body needs to lose, not the pounds some pigeonholing chart says you need to lose. Ask your doctor, if you have a good one, what your healthy weight should be. Choose healthy foods (and by the way, white rice, white flour, white sugar… all are so refined they have little if any nutritional value), and if you aren’t sure what those are, ask a nutritionist. Eat that donut or ice cream of slice of cake or pie, but make them treats, not staples. Don’t deny yourself the things you love, but try and make sure everything is in balance.
Beauty. It is in smiling faces, healthy people who try to eat healthful foods, do not deny themselves the odd indulgence here and there, who are not obsessive about weight and shape, who try and get out and be active every day they can, who celebrate life and love and laughter on a daily basis, even on those days that seem to just suck.
Beauty is in loving yourself for just who you are, and loving the people around you for just who they are.
I lost about 35 pounds in the past year and a half. I lost it because my cholesterol was too high and I could barely make a flight of stairs without wheezing. I am now a size 12. And I’m good with that. And I fully admit I am still trying to get in better shape, but I am doing it to strengthen my body, to give my back a little better chance, to keep my heart healthy so I can keep up with my kids and, one day many years from now, their kids.
I’ll tell you about my goddess women photo series I am working towards another day. Right now, I think I will have some tea with real cream and a little cake… and I’m going to eat it too.
xxx