Okay, Anne-Marie's love of languages made me remember this story, and yes I was being dreadfully irresponsible, but I spend so much time being responsible, I couldn't resist a little fun.
When I was in Ottawa last month, my friend Mike, a youth centre comrade, and I went to the pub for a few beers. On the way back from said pub, and after we went climbing this really great tree (another story), we passed this GIANT brilliant pink stuffed dog with purple spots, floppy ears and a big bow on the side of the street with the other garbage. Being a little inebriated (no really, only just a little) we thought: wouldn't it be ever so funny to put it on the roof of the University of Ottawa (which we happened to be about a block from)over the door so the students would see it looking down at them when they walked in the next morning. So, giggling like idiots, we carried this dog (and when I say big, I mean BIG. It was at least six feet tall) and Mike, the younger and very agile part of our team, climbed up on the roof while I watched out for security guards. I didn't watch well enough I guess, because about one minute after we got there, Mike was on the roof with this pink dog, and the security truck pulls up. So Mike hops off the roof with the dog. Oops, we say to each other quietly, grinning. This seriously over-the-top security guard gets out and starts yelling at us to get our hands up. So we put up our hands, and he comes over and starts searching Mike, checking all his pockets and demanding to know what we were doing.
"Well, you see, we thought it would be funny to put this big dog on the roof where the students would see it," Mike explained. (Mike is fully bilingual, incidentally).
The security cop finishes searching Mike's pockets, all the time warning him not to move and keeping half an eye on me (as I tried VERY hard to keep straight face) and gets Mike's full name. After he hears his last name is Bergeron, he asks if he speaks French. Of course Mike responds that he does, and the interrogation continues en Francais. He radios in Mike's name and birthdate (Mike is only just 26, so at least has the excuse of youth on his side, unlike the pushing 40 me), and asks when he was a student there (Mike was wearing a U Of O tee-shirt). After he is satisfied that Mike has no prior trespassing convictions (which had he, we were told we would have both been arrested) he turns to me. Now, I understand enough French to get the gist of what was being said, but I speak only just a very little. So the guard tells me, in French, he is not going to search me, so I nod, and then he asks me if I speak French, of course in French, to which I replied, with my best French accent, "non."
Well holy Jesus I thought Mike was going to combust he was trying so hard not to laugh.
The security guard found it somewhat less amusing.
After he ran my name, and I came up innocent as well, he lightened up a bit. We apologized for our immature behaviour, and the guard even went so far as to admit putting the dog up there would have been "kind of funny, but trespassing is illegal and we were now in their system."
After we walked away, with dog in tow, Mike started laughing.
He said, "I was just waiting for him to ask you your birthdate, so you could look him right in the eyes and say, mille neuf cent soixant neuf! (1969)! with a big grin on your face!"
Ah, oui oui.
9 comments:
You could have clogged my blog with this. :) Sometimes the security forces have no sense of humour, n'est-ce pas?
xx
AM
Wannabe cops, I tell ya! At least in the end he saw a little of the humour. We left the dog on a bench just down from Mike's apartment... the next day I saw it in the park where the tree we climbed was. I guess we weren't the only ones to drag around that big pink dog!
mille neuf cent soixant neuf...
Why were the security guards at U of O speaking French?
Ontario is an English province - at least it used to be...
they all seem to speak french in ottawa... or at least nearly all!
mille neuf cent soixant neuf... that's how he said it! I couldn't remember exactly how to say 1969, so I would have said (and wrote) dix neuf soixant neuf!
French is so much more formal that English.
thanks Dale, I corrected my dreadful French in the post! I knew I wasn't writing it quite the way he said it!
Precious Stevie! I wonder what the dog thought of it all. And was it a French speaking dog...'ow dooz one wuff en francais, je demande moiself..;-)
I did laugh out loud at this story Stevie! Briliant!
Being a tad irresponsible is absolutely essential from time to time, of course. In fact, it's good therapy altogether. Good on ya kiddo xx
Hahaha! you bloody rebel you!!..classic!!, I would love to have seen your face trying to supress your laugh..priceless..
I love your 8 facts spesh the new socks and knickers, i love that too, nowt like a comfy pair of socks, and dope makes me ill too which is a good thing spose..
Did the dog speak french too?..
Stevie you ratbag! What a great story. I think it's things like the random placement of large acylic pink and purple dogs which make life sparkle. Should be more of it.
I remember when my brother was at school, there was a "muck-up day" prank the leaving Year 12's did, stencilling white footprints all the way up a new three-story science block (heaven knows how). The principal called an emergency assembly, announcing angrily "this is an outrage - the perpetarators will confess, and these footprints will come down!" There was no confession, but by the next morning they had come down - the stencils now did a smart turn at the top of the building and marched neatly back down the wall.
Very naughty, but a class act.
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