I am trying to eliminate, or at least supress, certain negative emotions I have had just lately. I thought I had a pretty good handle on it this past few years, but recently... I've been prone to flashes of anger... it is an ugly side of me I do not like.
And for the most part, I do keep that darker passion under control. I never used to. I do not care much for the person I once was. I was always angry.
Now, I do my best not to let it colour me, I do my utmost to never hate people, because it is useless to do so, and makes your soul ugly and twisted. I do not want my childen, or anyone I love, to see hate in my eyes and take it as an example.
The trouble with being passionate, and a Scorpio (oh, so VERY Scorpio) is that along with the passion for life, the fiercely protective and loving nature, comes a volatile temper as well. And I have been trying to keep that under tight control.
Hmm. Just lately though.... seems I let my guard down, and the beast got loose.
So, meditating, taking stock, not allowing other people's negativity run off on me... all works in progress. Deep breath, oooosaaaaaa.....
I just gently (well, somewhat gently) lectured a young aquaintance of mine on hate and what it can do. I do hope she takes it the right way. I am taking a healthy dose of my own medicine.
Oh, and I am going to get another tattoo. Soon. I've been contemplating it for quite some time.
Small, on my wrist. To represent my children and the world I want for them. It will remind me to focus my energy on the postitive.
I have one on my back, waiting for the final touches, that is a memorial for my daughter and a tribute to my sons, and I really love it, but of course I do not see it unless I look in the mirror. This one I will see all the time.
11 comments:
Stevie, its ok to get angry at times..and being a redhead and a scorpio, it's no wonder you have fire and passion in you..chantal is a scorpio and VERY firery...but the flipside of that is deep passion and love..so don't try to change too much..I understand how you don't want to hate, i'm the same, because hate is a bag of bricks it's tiresome, but it's all part of who we are as humans we come as a package, there is no one dimension...get a punch bag and put a picture of someone that makes you angry..then just kick seven bells out of it..
I have tattoos, just small ones, my ex hubs is a tattooist, strangly though i hate tattoos on men..people ask if it hurts and i say well it just feels like your being stung by a thousand angry wasps..
ooh. by the by, your last post, will have to think about that one..
It's sometimes difficult to accept ourselves for exactly who we are. We all are packages of traits, quirks and personality. We are what we are and have to love ourselves and take ourselves no matter what. If we don't take care of ourselves, no one else will. We also have to accept other people for their packages too.
All the best.
I have trouble hating...I've never really been able to capture that emotion.
I've been angry - but I'm far from an angry person.
I believe that forgiveness is the answer - forgiveness toward our own selves as well as others.
Oh hell, I felt angry the other day.
...so I vacuumed the dirt out of my carpets all the while swearing to the walls.
It worked...and no one got hurt!
Stevie,
I think this was a brave post- very honest of you to put up and open up about.
I love Gypsy's bit about being a redhead and Scorpio. I'm a French Capricorn, try having that double baggage! :)
I think there are good ways to channel anger, far better than letting it fester inside- that is my French side talking, of course. The trick, which is admittedly quite tricky, is to let the anger out in acceptable ways without hurting the person involved. Not so easily done, but I think, in the end, far better than keeping it all in for too long.
I find exercise and physical outlets are a good way to do it sometimes. And yoga has helped tone things down for me.
xx
AM
Thank you guys for your words... I feel a little better about being... well... human...
I want so much to be able to just be that calm, serene person, you know?
I will try the punching bag, Gypsy, and the yoga for sure Anne-Marie! Vacuum therapy might just help with the carpet issues... and Lesley, you have an amazing way of saying just the right thing!
by the by, what sorts of tattoos do you have Gypsy?
WELL! I have a picture of vince noir on my bottom...
no! wait!..thats a lie..
I have a shooting star on the back of my shoulder..a phoenix at the top of my right arm and a american indian feather bracelet around the top of my left arm..
Stevie, sorry not to have visited for a while. It so hard doing the rounds I want to!
Don't know much about astrology, but I know about being a fiery redhead. It's all about chanelling the energy. Sometimes it makes a break and escapes though!
I don't have tatts, but I like the thinking behind yours. They're certainly ones I can't see you tiring of, which is the usual pitfall of body art.
Be yourself, accept your limitations and work with them. People, like songs, are dull without highs and lows.
As for your last post, 24 hours, eh? Hmmm. I'll ponder and post on mine in a day or so. Will let you know when!
So you'd like to start your day off with the Dalai Lama, eh? (Your last post). Good call. He's just visited here, and my eldest was lucky enough to hear him speak - he did a free seminar for senior school kids. She came back floating on air, saying he was the most inspiring, amazing person she'd ever heard. We were all madly jealous (although that's not a very helpful emotion either, now I think of it!)
She also said, sadly, that there were many kids who were obviously there just because they'd been told to be, and they just didn't "get it". Heard a few in the toilets afterwards, asking what all the fuss was about as he was just an old man who was dead boring.
See - there are an awful lot of people who have deeper flaws than any you can come up with!
Hi Stevie - I have put up my ideal 24 hours on my page. I's very simple, and unashamedly self-indulgent, but hey, it's only one day ...
Thanks for the tag - it was fun!
Stevie, I think it's half the battle to recognize something in yourself you want to improve on or change. So many people just go through life being angry or sad or whatever. So, pat yourself on the back for knowing yourself and being true to what you want for yourself!
I have 3 tattoos....well, one is half removed, as I chnged my mind a few years afterwards. Other than that, I have a Canadian flag with a Scottish thistle on my ankle, and the royal Scottish crest with the red lion on my back....can you tell where my roots are from?? *L*
Stevie, it seem I missed a whole heap of your posts, and I'm a bad, bad blogger, but I hope you'll forgive me as with the wedding coming and all the preparations I've been terribly busy and pre-occupied,
On the hate isse, I can't add more to what is already here, except to say that I understand wholly. The feelings and the need to control them. Because hate isn't only about anger. It seems to be a worm that eats away inside..well mine is, and I have to work hard to keep it in its place..under control and surrounded by so much love that it has no power to hurt me or others. But every now and then, it wants to come out and show its fangs, and I don't like that either! If you can channel it into anger that can be released that is great - Dale's vacuum therapy sounds good, and Gyspy's punch bag too. But if someone has done something for which you simply cannot forgive them, it may be that worm you just have to keep under control. Keep loving more and more Stevie!
By the way, being a Taurean also carries its burden. Think stubborn and you don't want to let go of the feelings either..lol!
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