wow...

So, I picked up my new car today. And of course, it cost $120 to register (tax) and my insurance will come out as well (another $90). And as I did not sell as many boughs as I hoped (see only one today) I was feeling a bit bummed out. Not making the extra cash means fewer gifts I can buy, and I drove my new car feeling both elated and a little blue. Then, I turned on Facebook. This is the first post I read, from my friend Heather: "BEST CHRISTMAS present and MIRACLE EVER!!!!! went to see my Doc today...turns out that the reconstruction/mastectomy surgery has actually turned out to being a possible LIFE SAVING procedure!!!!! YES...it was "back" and I KICKED it in the ASS at the earliest possible time!!!! NO more Breast Cancer for me!!! All I wanted for Christmas was my two front "C"s...little did I know GOD was helping me to be Breast Cancer Free!! I am so blessed to be surrounded by so many people that love me and have helped me with this journey, and recovery!! GOD bless you all.. I feel like the RICHEST woman on EARTH!!!..but just in case..maybe today is the day I should buy THAT Lotto Max ticket cause if this isn't my luckiest day...I don't know when will be!! ~~~ :) hahaa Love to you all my friends, God Bless you and keep you this Christmas Season!!! xoxoxo from ME :)"

Suddenly I felt ashamed... ashamed that I would be so concerned about not buying a few more gifts... ashamed that I was not feeling more blessed myself. And I realize, that I truly am blessed. I have another car (her name is Ophelia!), I do have gifts to give under my truly perfect Christmas tree, and I have 13 people coming to dinner on Monday, my amazing family and friends, and I am healthy, happy, and live in absolute paradise. Sometimes the universe sends us a message. And heaven help us if we do not hear it. May you all look to your blessings, may you all be surrounded by love, may you all see that the things that matter do not come under a tree, are not purchased. The most precious things in our life stand next to us, grow around us, are often intangible... but are never, ever to be taken for granted. My love to all. Stevie

Dec. 20

It's quiet. Blessedly so. Not all that early really, but the dogs are fed and out (I am awaiting the inevitable barking that signals the attack of the hoards of grizzlies Trappeur is certain will come every day... it is usually a deer), Tony lies abed yet having stayed up all night playing chess online, and I have a cup of coffee and a few precious moments peace. Not that I do not love them all. But being truly alone is a rare commodity for me. And, I miss it. Today is Dec. 20, and time now to get a tree. I don't like to get one any sooner... it takes something away from the excitement of Christmas for me. And today, I pick up my new car! A Honda CRV, well maintained, and a 4X4. AND... Ta-ra ta-ra! it will have studded winter tires! No more sliding around Westside Road for me. Not to worry, I will not take on false courage and careen around corners! We are hosting Christmas Eve dinner this year, as Scott will spend Christmas day with his bride to be's family. I believe the head count is 15... Good thing I like to have a crowded house now and then! All in all, things are well and mostly as they should be. Looking forward to the new year, and new adventures. And enjoying today while it is here. Love to all... may you find peace, joy and love in the next few days, and even more after that. Stevie